Caroline in the Delta

Closing the Teach For America Blogging Gap
Nov 15 2011

Multiple personality disorder.

Geminis are known as the “twin”. Split personalities, light and dark, flighty and often misrepresented (heh) as superficial.

I post this, because lately I feel I’ve come off as completely ridiculous to the people around me. Part of me aches for a blog that could be completely open-hearted, about life and not just teaching, but I need this concrete division. I have the school blog, the casual social blog (tumblr), and a personal journal. What I want, though, is a no restrictions real-life blog. I fear too many people that would potentially make appearances (positive and not) might read the information and mistake it for being crass, rude, or anything else unfavorable.

So I will continue with TFA/teacher news.

I’ve been asked for a formal interview with St HOPE School District in Sacramento. If that goes well, the principal will fly to the Delta (no joke) to observe me here. I’m not nervous, just excited.

I applied to attend Achievement First’s high school “Immersion Day” in which they invite teachers nation-wide on a trip to observe their school and take part in some focus groups and networking. Seriously? Expenses paid? Obviously I applied, and today I found an invitation in my inbox. Accepting it (which I haven’t done yet) will mean my weekends of late go in this order: Chicago, Dumas/Louisiana, Chicago, Michigan, Connecticut. Then I have maybe three weeks until Christmas.

It’s exciting but strange because while last year I reveled in time off, this year I’m nervous about my kids. I want to be here. I hate sub plans. I don’t like leaving my babies in others’ care. They’re mine. :)

Yet this opportunity is not something I think I will be given often, so I’m taking it. This reminds me of college, when I went from one student organization to about 800  in the span of six months. Now that I kind of have a better handle on teaching, I am perpetually in the middle of too many things to responsibly keep track of.

And yet, as I look at all these other opportunities, today’s building-level leadership team meeting made me so happy. I love being surrounded with productive, hopeful, intelligent minds and voices. My district is full of these people, these wonderful insightful caring people that are so frustrated with things that aren’t getting done in a way that benefits our kids. Red tape, oversight, so much if it doesn’t make sense. BUT with our consultant, finally having three administrators, and motivated people… our school is pulling together. The way meetings are starting to go and change is starting to happen makes me feel like five more months (because that’s all that’s left, really) of this school, this district, these people is just not enough time. I’m JUST getting used to everything… how could I back out?

But again, the loneliness factor, the everything-else-besides-school part of my life factor… these keep me on the look out for other possibilities.

All we can do is wait and see.

One Response

  1. justcallmemaestra

    This reminds me so much of me. Hang in there, fellow Gemini. :)

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